This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Third time's a charm right? That's what we're going to find out today when Angi is scheduled for her latest appearance onWindy City Livethis afternoon. The first time around, Pelosi was having a fit about something or another on TV. The second time, Trump was being impeached. This time though, it seems nothing is going to stop our beloved queen from finally taking to the airwaves. #KnockOnWood
So, let's take our first of many morning detours down the road of celebrity. You know, those people we tend to idolize and worship while somehow forgetting that they are people and in turn, most people are terrible. Angi was curious, have you ever waited on a celebrity, like working in the service industry? A girl on Tik Tok has done it plenty of time and she is dishing the tea. For example, forever DILF Ryan Gosling and Eva Mendes are apparently really nice and tip well. Wanna know who the scumbags are, apparently Leslie Mann and Judd Aptow. Abe chimed in that he once interviewed Judd Aptow and said he seemed like an a-hole. Roadie Evelyn once waited on Nicholas Cage, who she said was a literal hot mess. He was completely obliterated at lunch, made a mess and left no tip. My roommate waited on Scottie Pippen and Bill Clinton (at separate events.) Said Pippen was nice, wife was super hot. Clinton was super kind and gave a great speech.
So yesterday, Abe was lobbying complaints left and right about how his sandwiches don't get the mayo love they need. Angi decided that she needed to take it upon herself to go and deal with the issue. She went down and spoke to Brandon, who is the manager of the Potbelly downstairs at the station. Angi went all journalistic, intending to make an investigation video that would rival a news station. It turns out Brandon was only looking out for Abe, in that he didn't want to kill him and he wanted the sandwich to taste good. He had no idea that Abe was seeking a #mayobomb. He promised investigative reporter Angela Taylor that the next time Abe comes in, he would mayo bomb him. Of course, being that he's a neurotic nutcase, Abe said that Angi has now ruined everything. Brandon knows Abe's order now and as much as Abe likes him, he can never go back. In turn, Angi fired back and said that Abe ruined it by going there every day. Basically, Abe is just going to have to go to different places now and request "mayo bombs." This led to the question, do you eat somewhere often even if they know your order by heart? The roadies checked in and gave plenty of examples. Russ was beloved by a place called Station Bar and Grill, he knew their number offhand and they knew his when he called. Kyle is known at the liquor store for his usual purchase which is 2 tall boys, a pack of cigs and a bottle of Jim Bean. Bill goes to a specific Taco Bell at least 6 times a week so when they hear his car, they start prepping his exact order. Let's cap it with our sweet Angi, who used to order wine from a place so often that they called her home phone to let her know that they were going out of business and to make sure she had a back up supplier.
Finally, Angi opened a discussion piece about how since we've been in lockdown forever, we've been missing out on human contact. However, since Spring is almost sprung, now would be the perfect time for some self love (not that kind.) She wanted listeners to call in and compliment themselves. To begin, she complimented Abe. He has the biggest heart (seriously it's mayo enlarged) he loves his momma, he's super funny and sexy (rawr!) As for Abe to Angi, she's the nicest person who is great at what she does. He also likes her new hairstyle. Roadie Tia called in to compliment herself on having the nicest ass that has ever existed. Every time she goes out, she feels like she's walking by a construction site. Of course, Abe made it a little weird sliding into creeper territory and then cried phony because that's what he does. Abe added another Angi compliment, she's amazing all around but do not tell her your secrets! Abe, why he's great with old people, he treats them so well. Back to the roadies, Kevin is 59 and has a dad bod and no issue flaunting it. He was also made a head roadie because he seemed awesome. Dave called to compliment his junk, saying that his penis pump gave him 2 more inches. Big Dad called to mention that his tongue punching skills are on point. The last compliment went to Trashman Tim, who is the hardest working man on the Southwest Side and wrote a poem for his trash truck.
Current Champion: Dave (2x)
Challenger Song Choice: "One Step Closer"
Champion Song Choice: "Blackened"
Observation: Fantastic talking on one end today, better song choice on the other, so this really becomes a choice of smack vs. song imo.
In today's B topics, there were a handful of interesting points and a hell of a 180 topic. It began with a survey result that was put out recently, saying the 90% of time people think they are funny or a good driver, they truly are not. 80% of people have a way too high opinion of themselves, saying that their funny ranking is a 3/5. Abe thinks that these people are clearly delusional and that the ranking should go lower. He and Angi both hate people who are constantly sarcastic. To further push the stats, an astounding 10% think they are the funniest person they know. Tooting her own horn here, Angi said that she definitely is the funniest person she knows. Then we took a small turn into cheating (as these topics often do, turn not cheat.) If Jay the Straight was to cheat on Angi, she would be much more offended if the skank was funnier than her but not hotter. She explained that there is no funny supermodel so she should be safe worrying about the balance. She brought up Chrissy Tiegen as an example of too funny for her own good but Abe did not agree, saying that she's not supermodel hot. Who is, well according to Abe, that would be Aaron Rodgers former beard Oliva Munn.
File this next one under an asked question that was then ignored two minutes later. That question posed for the listeners, do you ever borrow your wife or girlfriend's beauty products? Abe obviously doesn't, he is a natural beauty. This was spawned from Hailey Bieber, the wife of annoying tween turned annoying adult singer Justin Bieber, revealing that he uses her eye cream and moisturizers. Angi decided to throw beloved show husband Jay the Straight under the bus by revealing that he will sometimes borrow Angi's face masks. In fact, there's one that he loves that is so embarrassing called Disco Kitty that he forces Angi to buy it. The best part is that this mask is silver so in a raging fight Angi once ran into him and called him "The Tin Man," which in my mind should be his new show nickname.
Lastly, we have a doozy of a topic flip that started out innocent enough and turned into something absolutely disgusting. Angi was talking about the MTV era, when reality TV was real for the most part and there were amazing shows likeThe Real Worldbefore it went messy. Turns out there is an upcoming Real World reunion for the first season. Abe wasn't sure which season that was and basically mentioned every one that wasn't that season. He went on to explain how much he lovesThe ChallengeandJersey Shore: Family Vacation. Judgemental Angi said that he needs to find something else to do with his life. This is where the topic does a literal 360 into something just awful. Angi asked if Abe's girlfriend Cathy is allowed to visit him when he's in the bathroom or if he visits her. Of course not, in fact Angi does not allow it to happen either. (Btw, I agree with them, bathroom time should be saved for yourself and exercising your demons.) You know what else Angi hates. The word fart, people who pop each other's pimples, basically any type of bodily fluid or function makes her want to scream. This whole mess and boy was it, was brought on by the expansion of bathroom boundaries for 64% of people during the pandemic. Taking a bath, peeing and even changing a tampon is apparently no longer taboo for these people. Abe went on to assume that people who love feet would want to see a tampon changed. For what it's worth, he also assumed that it somehow leads into feet shaving and back shaving. Yeah, I'm confused as well, let's just leave it at that.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Rick Springfield. The albumWorking Class Dogis 40 years old today. He was the first person Angi ever got to interview.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Oh stepdaughters, did he bang them?" - Abe
Quote: "Who wants to have a kid at 71?" - Angi
Quote: "His (Tiger Woods) junk is okay?" - Abe
Quote: "The song 'By the Way' made people do crazy things, they were running straight to the dentist." - Angi
Quote: "The minute someone knows my order, I never return." - Abe
Quote: "I am not a whole block, maybe just the corner." - Angi
Quote: "You guys can sit in a circle and circle jerk with Robocop." - Angi
New Head Roadie Alert: Kevin - Head Roadie of Elmwood Park