This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
It all begins with breaking news, brought on by Abe calling Jodie Foster's death (that hasn't happened yet.) Since Abe dropped the ball on this one so hard, I had to go and speak to the gay council to see what was to be done about this whole mess. Needless to say, Jodie Foster was actually there today in her fixed seat as well and she was pissed. I'm not sure if the velvet mafia is going to come to Abe's house and break the legs of his coffee table but honestly, he brought this upon himself. Anyway, to the notes we go.
Let's start off the morning talking about winners because Tuesday tends to make everyone feel like a loser. Have you ever won anything, like for example, a meat raffle at a local bar. Somehow this caused the first moment of confusion of the day as Abe wanted to know what a meat raffle is. Continuing though, everything was fair game for this topic, including like contests on the radio (Chainsaw Friday!,) etc. This all came because a tourist won big in Vegas. While sitting in the Vegas airport, this silly degenerate decided to play Wheel of Fortune. Well, she spun and spelled out WINNER because she ended up hitting a jackpot of $302,000. Abe too has experienced the joy of winning at the Vegas airport as well, only he came up with just $1,000. You see though, Abe has always been a winner, even as a kid. When he was in Cub Scouts, he won the Pinewood Derby. Correction, Uncle Rick won the Derby as he did all the work, Abe simply laid on his stomach and ate Doritos. Angi, showing her age, won a copy of Clue (the board game) at a video store as a kid. She was truly lucky in that she submitted her name 800 times and no one else bothered to enter. It was then turned over to the roadies, who gave us a wild variety of winnings. Neil was in the bathroom at a bar and saw a contest on the wall, he entered and won a gun (yep.) Dan won an 86 inch TV off a 50 dollar raffle two years ago. Sam, also showing his age, won 32 Coleco games from a "32 Days of Christmas" contest from Fox 32. Larry won a trip to London to see Alanis Morrisette off a Tower Records contest. Head Roadie Jim won a contest in first grade by guessing the exact number of candy in a jar. Back to the meat raffle, Lauren once won a 25 pound turkey at a bar raffle. There was also a listener who won a state spelling bee which took us down memory lane for spelling champs Abe and Angi. They both lost when misspelling category and noisy respectively.
In a topic that would cause a bunch of commentary that led to "sus" shots, Angi was curious about things people are not able to do. This literally means anything, like being able to whistle (I can't - Abe and Angi can.) Being able to parallel park (Angi and Abe are masters.) Being able to to assemble self assembly furniture (this literally can and does cause divorce.) Abe then confessed that he is not handy in the slightest. He does not own any tools and his girlfriend has to do all the work around the house. Angi is the same in this regard, she is a handy woman. There would be more turns into the world of Abe but before that, Angi picked the roadies brains as to what they can't do that they are embarrassed of. Roadie and Request Wars loser of the day Frankie can't build stuff either, which for whatever reason is a secret man shame. Abe chimed in that he doesn't know how to iron but of course this does not matter. See, Abe only wears t-shirts anyway and in his head, all shirts when bought are preironed. More examples flowed through. Not being able to fold a fitted sheet (burn them, this is not even a reasonable thing to be embarrassed of.) Change the oil in a car (for the record, the only manly thing Abe can do is change a tire.) Ride a bike (which we learned Abe broke his arm riding a stolen red bike and Angi hit a parked car riding hers.) Angi and Abe both can't drive stick shifts. Young roadie Lyric can't write cursive (because that isn't taught in school anymore and honestly, good riddance.) Scott is not able to do trading, he is terrible at stocks. Jeff can't tie a tie (no shame in that either.) It turned out that Abe can't tie a tie as well and Angi actually is amazing at it, she can do it blindfolded. Abe intends to go to her to learn how to do it so something useful came from this.
Finally, since we've all been home lately, there's a lot of comfort that has extended itself into our lives. This becomes problematic in that there might be weird stuff you leave laying around that has been seen by someone you let in. This was meant to go out to people who come in, like electricians and contractors, repair men and installers. Angi read a thing on Reddit about how a girlfriend and boyfriend who enjoy being kinky. Sliding into comfortability, they accidentally left the shackles the girlfriend uses to shackle her boyfriend to a table that his mom ended up seeing. Abe told a story about how he once bought a dishwasher off Craigslist. The guy who was selling it was sitting in a chair, using a gripper to literally pick up and showcase everything in the house. There was plenty to see in this house btw, including a ton of taxidermied animals and a random creepy guy standing by a door that scared Abe. Roadie Kara called in to discuss how she had a camera that she took pictures with because she wanted good resolution. Those pics were graphic nudes, including ones involving a rubber chicken. Roadie Taylor (Angi gushed over the great name, eye roll) once found a suitcase full of jumbo sized sex toys that her boyfriend's mother left behind at his house after she lived there for a time. Instead of telling him, she resealed it and let him find it for her own amusement. When he was young, Miguel had a girl over for sex. Apparently, she left her panties behind and the cat found them, dragging them through the house until his parents came upon them. He ended up having to say that they were his (but he didn't wear them) so he didn't get caught. Brian was working doing flooring at a funeral home when a body was snuck past him and it ended up having its last breath in front of him, scaring him senseless. Kevin was doing a person's bathroom when the cat snuck into the wall and was sealed in it. The realization came when the owner asked why his sink was meowing. My question was where was Angi's contractor in all this, as we heard recently her house was melting and I'm wondering if he found her Prince themed sex dungeon while he was there.
Request Wars:
Current Champion: Frankie (3x)
Challenger Song Choice: "Through It All"
Champion Song Choice: "When Worlds Collide"
Observation: Reused joke recollection engaged and I honestly can't recall if it's been done before because this reign hasn't been stellar. Very cool on Gary's band retweeting, Powerman sucks but the smack was moderate today, so eh.
Winner: Gary
Other Topics:
Angi opened the show this morning with a plea, she needs $60,000 so she can buy a bunch of Prince memorabilia that is about to go up for auction. Abe questioned her as to exactly what you do with stuff like that, do you just stare at it like once a week? Angi said that she just likes to collect Prince stuff since she loves him so much and Jay the Straight, he collects Muhammed Ali stuff. Though the idea of it was addressed, it's all just stuff that you stare at and when you die, it becomes someone else's job to resell it. Angi explained that when she dies, her daughter should hopefully be an adult and in turn, she would sell the stuff properly. If that doesn't work out, Angi also has life insurance and that should make sure that her daughter is set when or if the worst happens. Angi went on to explain that her daughter is the only person in her will, she will get everything. Offended, Abe said that he would like something from her when she dies. Angi told him she has replica Prince guitars, which he turned down and did not want. Abe then explained that he's more likely to die before Angi. This turned into a debate about who is going to die first (I've always said Abe gets killed by Bane on Lower Wacker and Angi's house falls on her, Wicked Witch style.) Angi seems to believe that her polluted temple of a body that has been ridden hard by years of booze, drugs and dongs, so she'll croak first.
In a topic that actually spawned effort on my part, Angi brought up the strangeness that was Jodie Foster and Aaron Rodgers thanking each other. Since they don't seemingly know each other, Angi was utterly confused why they were thanking each other. Angi went on to point out that there is a theme that connects Foster, Rodgers and his fiancée Shailene Woodland Creature or whatever her name is. All this talk led Abe to announce that he thought Jodi Foster was dead. It turns out that she is just a Packers fan, which is essentially about as worthwhile as dead. Angi went on to make a bold proclamation, that the three of them are all bearding for each other. This led Abe to expressing shock in not knowing that Jodie is a lesbian but again he assumed she was dead so. The deeper dug truths continued to come out, perhaps Jodie is banging Shailene and Aaron is dating Manti Teʻo. Angi just went all outright after this and yelled "sus," the one of many from this morning that led to plenty of drinking. May I add in that there was a discussion that didn't make the air after all this about something else that occurred this morning outside the studio that has created a new Angi and Abe competition and it was incredible. I'd spill the tea but certain things are meant to be kept tucked in.
Lastly, as we all know Abe is the master of mayo and today showed us how far he'll go for it. If you recall, Angi posted a video last week when she decided to become an investigative journalist. As much as she tried to ruin Abe's relationship with Brandon, the sandwich maker downstairs, Abe was able to squash that beef today. He pointed out how much he did not appreciate her trying to take over and ruin his friendship with him. Well, now that things are all good, Abe finally got mayo bombed today. Yes, there is video and it is posted on Twitter, Instagram and in the Facebook group. I will warn you that this video is absolutely disgusting, like just awful and you'll want to throw up watching it. This was literally the whole bottle being dumped on the sandwich and according to Abe this is the most mayo he's ever had. Abe honestly felt sick after eating THE ENTIRE SANDWICH. Even Angi thought the whole thing was too much. Might I add one last warning before closing this down for the day, if you watch this video make sure you haven't eaten recently, have a weak stomach or have a bad heart.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Erica Watson. She passed away from covid recently, she was someone who Angi has worked with and she was amazing. Pour your toast out today people.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "Anything normal feels weird to me." - Abe
Quote: "If you're eating Flaming Hot Cheetos on the train and flip pages of the books, just stop." - Abe
Quote: "Is this one of your (Abe) analogies that I can't follow right now?" - Angi
Quote: "I don't have a boyfriend." - Abe
Quote: "If you don't get Russell Wilson now, I'm going to die." - Abe
Quote: "He's not my boyfriend, I just like him." - Abe
Quote: "A lot of people working from home are currently laying on their side in bed." - Abe
Abe Insider Tip: If you eat Flaming Hot Cheetos, you should wear gloves.