This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)
I know, it's Chainsaw Friday and you are ready to party. With a "Liquid Lunch" stop about to be in full effect and then a full weekend of debauchery ahead of us, who has time to sit down and watch Netflix? Well, before you decide to turn off the TV so you can go out and get turnt up, perhaps you should scratch a note in your day planner. Now, we know most of the roadies are secretly freaks so it would make sense that some would want a dedicated sex room. Well guess what, Netflix will build one for you! That's right, a new show is coming on July 8th called How to Build a Sex Room. It will be hosted by the Mary Poppins of sex rooms Melanie Rose, who will come to peoples house and build up all their gross delights. Before we head to the roadies on the Request Line, Angi and Abe gave their sex room wants. Abe would have an Undertaker outfit in his so he could invite guys like Stamos Angi would have cardboard cutouts of hot dudes in hers like Michael B. Jordan, Fight Club era Brad Pitt and Cilian Murphy. Abe further elaborated on Angi's dungeon, suggesting that she add masks to her dungeous sex cave. Like a Brad Pitt mask which then was turned into a pillowcase. The concept being you could put a pillowcase on the guy's head and he looks like a hot dude. I mean, did you not expect things to go right off the rails and then some with a topic like this and a co-host like Abe? As for my dungeon, I would want bottles upon bottles of Captain Morgan White and Jon Moxley in there to beat me senselessly with them. Anyway, on to the roadies and here's what they had to say. Nick actually has a sex room with eleven vibrators in it. He's such a player he's been called the Papi Chulo of Chicago. You see, he's straight as an arrow but hearing about things that go in your butt made Abe want to come over. There was a point about a velcro jumpsuit but that was another Abe idea so you know. Trashman Tim called to say he would want mirrors on the ceilings, like a cheap motel. His life is essentially like dirty 80's sex. We also learned that if a cheap motel says free HBO that actually means free porn. We also could not tell if Tim was hungover, punching the clown or a bit of both. Head Roadie Troy called to say he would want a mask of Angi and a bottle of Jack in his. All this mask talk inspired Abe to want to sell masks in our Rock 95.5 shop but Angi is a bit terrified by the overall idea. Tyler gave an actual right answer to what Angi wanted, which was pictures of your grandparents. Finally, Matt said a dangling sex swing basket thing, which again completely missed the point of this whole reversal thing. Whatever, it's Friday, let's just let the freak flags fly. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our socials (FB group, Twitter, Instagram) and read up or drop us a comment.
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
No time for other nonsense, there was too much to do today and a "Liquid Lunch" to prepare for.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)
Angi's (repping Julie) Song Choice: "Fly to the Angels" by Slaughter
Abe's (repping Stump) Song Choice: "Nobody's Fool" by Cinderella
Smack Talk Recap:
Angi was annoyed by the name Stump (and Abe always finding people with stupid names.) Stump is called Stump because he has small junk and he was inspired by the movie version of Cinderella. Actually, he has 100 inch junk. Also, we learned that Abe is a moron and doesn't know Boris and Natasha.
Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:
Angi Wants to Go on a Solo Vacation
Mon: Angi enjoyed a holiday day off
Angi spent the day enjoying a day off for a long due holiday that we are finally getting around to recognizing. While she did this, Jay the Straight went out and played golf which made her want to go on a vacation without him. (N/A)
Tue: Angi wants to go to Nevada
Jose had Angi decide to go to the hot springs in Nevada. For once it finally seemed like things would go right, seeing as Angi was relaxing in the hot spring and loving it. The water was warm and so tranquil, floating around her and giving her a much needed break. In fact, one of the springs next to her even began to erupt as she sat there, which piqued her curiosity. Angi decided to swim over and touch the water, to see if it was truly hot. As she reached out and touched it though, a new sensation erupted forth. Searing, burning, flames, on the side of her face as it rained down all over her. It turns out the water was 69 degrees (correction, the water gave her 69 degree burns.) As the water continued to rain down, Angi started to melt. As this was happening, a bevy of attendants who looked alot like Pogo the Tripod surrounded her and began to sing "ding dong the witch is dead." (Dead)
Wed: Angi wanted to go to Hedonism
Josh has Angi decide to go to the nude side of Hedonism. Angi took her time to walk around and learn the island, drinking in its rich culture. Unfortunately, her eyes were also drinking in 75 year olds on the nude side because that's all there was. Angi found herself disgusted and was let down by the sad state of things. As she went to leave, she was approached by a pair of 75 year olds named Zip and Ethel. They were looking to swing and Angi's hot mom bod and frankentits were exactly what they were looking for. Luckily, she was 27 fingers deep and just wasted so instead of throwing herself in the ocean, she started to throw up. The vomit would not stop coming up and ended up everywhere but once she got done puking, she left and went looking for a new destination. (Alive)
Thur: Angi wanted to learn about her heritage
Jolie had Angi decide to go to Croatia. Angi stepped off the plane and like every entitled American, she expected to be treated like a hero. However, the moment she set foot on the land, someone started immediately ringing a shame bell. That's right, even in Croatia they know to treat her like the harlot that she is. As a crowd gathered around, so did Drogon, the dragon from Game of Thrones. Him and Angi exchanged a look and she assumed they were cool. Apparently though, he too was disgusted by her whorish ways, so much so that he blasted her with a fireball. Within seconds, Angi was rendered to nothing more than cinder and ash. (Dead)
Fri: Angi wanted to go somewhere cold
Tom had Angi decide to go to Iceland. She boarded the boat and shipped off, seeing plenty of majestic wonders. She really loved all the big chunks of ice surrounding the boat (even though you see that 9 months a year in Chicago.) As she stood on the deck, suddenly a giant iceberg appeared. There was no time to steer away and the boat hit it head on. The boat cracked in half and Angi ended up in the frigid waters hanging onto a door with some jobber. Unlike Kate Winslet, Angi decided to share the door with this loser. However, the jobber ended up besting Angi in that he decided to Kate Winslet her and threw her off the door. As she waded in the frigid water he yelled at her "This is payback for Leo, bitch!" Angi's body couldn't handle the ice cold waters and in a matter of minutes, she froze solid and sank to the bottom of the ocean. (Dead)
10 O'Clock Toast:
RBG. She was the last normal brain cell on The Supreme Court and after today's disgusting decision, Angi is quite upset.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"There's something wrong with you in the head if you blow off M80's all the time." - Abe
"I was listening to you (Abe) and the human ball washer yesterday." - Minn Barb
PSAngi: Screw you The Supreme Court!