Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

Angi Taylor Show Recap With Jay The Gay -1-24-2023

Photo: Flickr RF

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place. 

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)

Ah Tuesday, the day when everything starts to fall into place and you end up upset because you realize that the week has barely started and there's still three more days to go. However, it being Tuesday also means that there's more time in the week to lay on the couch and watch true crime documentaries. As expected, people are taking them too far though because the implanted idea that they could possibly be murdered has caused a new hot trend to emerge. Apparently, people are creating "In Case I Go Missing" binders. These binders include things like DNA, fingerprints, photos, tattoos, scars, birthmarks, handwriting samples and dental samples (I'm sure there are a few other samples that could be added in here by some of the crazy ones.) Almost immediately, Abe came through and shot down putting together one of these binders. His rationale was the following: "If I'm dead, I'm dead, who cares?" Angi interjected that they could find his skull in the woods and at least use the dental records for closure. Abe further made his feelings known by saying that if you don't hear from him for 24 hours, he's truly dead (or in an extreme case, kidnapped.) Angi looked past doom and gloom and added more things that people are putting in their binders, which is making things more problematic. Social media passwords, licenses and birth certificates are also being tossed into these books. Here's the issue with this bible of your life sitting around your house, someone could easily break into your house and steal this $50 binder. Yeah, outside of the completely problematic nature of this thing, the binders sell for like $50 on Amazon. So not only are you wasting money to pull this together, you're losing the rest of it when it gets stolen from your house. As usual, Abe had another solution which was to toss an air tag in your shoe. This way if you are murdered or kidnapped, at least you can be tracked. Angi was not having it because there's a million ways that could go wrong. Not deterred, Abe went further suggesting you could stick the air tag up your butt (Angi shook her head no on this one as well) or maybe throw it in your back pocket. Abe assumes that his clothing will not be stripped when murdered but that just makes me realize he doesn't watch a lot of these true crime shows. Angi finished Abe's air tag idea by suggesting that they would just set Abe on fire after they killed him like they did to the corpse on Making a Murderer. Abe wondered if the air tag he has, I'm assuming, shoved up his butt, would melt (which it would) so that negates that idea. Honestly, the book makes the best sense but again, having that kind of info readily available in a house opens a whole nother can of worms. Maybe Abe was right in just saying if you're murdered, so be it.

Other Stuff from Today's Show

After spending the duration of the day yesterday suffering under the constant verbal barrage that was Abe, Angi decided she needed a night out last night. Seeing as she has Bulls season tickets, a Monday night excursion seemed like a good time (distraction) from the day and it seems like it did exactly that. She went to the game with Jay the Straight, left a little after halftime and enjoyed some food from Little Goat. They also won the game so Angi couldn't be pegged as a mush as she usually is any time she goes to a game but there was a small fear, seeing as they had been sucking at first. None of this mattered though because Angi and Jay the Straight got high in the car in the parking lot. Stoned and feeling no pain, Angi's game focus was not on the ball but the cameras right over the bucket that moves around. She was confused how the cameras knew where the balls were at all time and it led her to assume that there is a chip in the ball. After all, in most sports there's a chip in the ball meant for tracking stats and the like so this doesn't sound entirely implausible. Abe countered though (as he does) that the cameras are actually manual. Apparently this is the same for the whole league (citation needed, we are known for misinformation after all.) It should be noted that this stoned camera fixation also led her to not drinking at the game because she was already feeling it so there was no need to double dip. Another Abe correction was issued in that she just smoked in the car and didn't hotbox it because let's be real, she's not 16. Seeing as she couldn't enjoy this shocking discovery alone, Angi mentioned it to Jay the Straight who then proceeded to focus on the cameras instead of the game as well.

So, back in the olden days of school, Abe had a group he rolled with called The AV Boyz. For those who listen to the show regularly, you would know that we have goofed on this band of dorks relentlessly and today was no different. However, Abe's loser clique was not what we explored this morning (which makes sense as we've already talked them to death on the show.) The reason this all came up was because a poll showed that 8% of people didn't have cliques in school. Jocks was the most common answer with 22%, followed by loners (which sure comes off worse than it did when we were kids,) popular kids, cheerleaders, nerds, band geeks, stoners, geeks, snobs and preppy kids. As for Angi, she was not in a clique that did nitrous behind the bleachers like Abe assumed though she was a floater so it would make sense why he would assume that. Sometimes she was a jock and other times she was a stoner. She never fit the band/cheerleader/prep groups though but she could also be a dork sometimes. Recalling this fond time, Abe remembered he was also in the rock music group. This group consisted of dudes listening to Metallica and doing coke while Abe sang the D.A.R.E. song. Angi wanted to be in sports but she also wanted to party but their idea for partying was different. There was also a wrestling clique at Angi's school which was all hot dudes who were bulimic. Lest we also forget the twin group as there were tons of hot twins in Angi's school and they all hung out together. As for myself, I was a floater who held his own clique called the Window Crew but I also hung out with the cool kids, the stoners, the losers and others. It was more about fitting in and basically finding my place in the hierarchy. Enough on us though as always, we took to the Request Line to hear about the roadies cliques. Lainey was in the hippy art kids group who had dreads, smoked weed and made friendship bracelets. In fact, she still scrapbooks to this day. Tyler was in a ROTC clique and people called them the Rotcy Nazi's. Abe recalled how at his school, you could take art or gym and he always opted for art. Karen was captain of the cheerleading squad, played the oboe and was voted most popular. Her best friend was considered the biggest party animal and her bestie was a drug dealer. Later in life, she became a dancer for Kid Rock. In other words, Karen is one of our coolest roadies. Tim was part of the burnouts. Sherri was in the underdogs which were basically the superpoor misfit latchkey kids. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our FB group and read up or drop us a comment.

Finally, today is National Give a Compliment Day which is nice. We are not into nice things though on this show so we sought out for the roadies to come dump all over us. For example, Angi had this to say about Abe. "Abe, watching poker blogs is so cool when you retire, way to get a jump on it." Switching it up, Abe had this to say to Angi, "Angi, you look great for your age." Onward to the Request Line, first out the gate was Angry Bob. He wanted to congratulate them on being the second highest radio show in Chicago, seeing as all the other shows are tied for first. Jess offered up one she received once which was that she has such a nice face. If she lost 25/30 pounds, she'd be perfect. Angi had the same thing happen to her when she was at her skinniest and was told she needed to lose 10 pounds. Mike called to say everybody he knows listens to the show every time they get on air only because all the good shows don't start until 7. Max finished them off with "you guys are not the worst radio station."

Request Wars 2.0

Champion: Angi (Streak: 2)

Angi's (repping Simon) Song Choice: "Beautiful Girls" by Van Halen

Abe's (repping Kelly) Song Choice: "Gel" by Collective Soul

Smack Talk Recap:

According to Abe, this is Collective Souls' best song and it was one people knew and forgot existed. Abe in turn totally forgot to mention Kelly. Angi said that Simon is French and he loves all the beautiful girls who listen to 95.5. Ed from Collective Soul apparently has better stage presence than David Lee Roth. Abe also insulted Collective Soul's biggest song "Shine."

Winner: Angi

10 O'Clock Toast:

Panic at the Disco.

Sad news emo kids, Panic is calling it a day after 20 years because lead singer Brendon Urie has decided to have a baby.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"Just be like me, I don't care about anything." - Abe

"If I'm gone for more than a day, I'm dead." - Abe


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