Abe

Abe

Abe Kanan was born and raised on the south side of Chicago and grew up hanging out at Metro, Aragon, Riv, and all of Chicago’s music venues, checking...Full Bio

 

Angi Taylor Show Recap With Jay The Gay -1-27-2023

Photo: Flickr RF

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed)

When you think about Friday, you think of a weekend spending time with your significant other. When Angi thinks about the weekend, she dreams of lying on the couch and watching Below Deck and The Traitors. Abe dreams about lying on the couch watching poker blogs and eating burgers. However, perhaps you want to spend your weekend making a little extra cash and getting ready to file for a divorce. Before explaining this point further, let's circle round and ask a question. What is the one thing that a couple can do that leads to the most fights? Abe assumed the answer was a road trip which was incorrect but does fit the logical list. After all, a first vacation is a true test of a relationship. Angi brought up that all too awkward experience of when you would go somewhere with your friend with their parents in a car and they fought the whole time. God, childhood really was hell, wasn't it? Anyway, the reason this discussion ensued and the opening point I alluded to has to do with everyone's favorite Swedish meatball emporium, IKEA. A company is offering a couple $1,000 to put together IKEA furniture. When exploring whether or not this money making opportunity was worth the time of our beloved hosts, the answers were what you should expect. When Abe needs something put together, he just lets Cathy do all the work as she is the handy one in the relationship. As for Angi, anytime her and Jay the Straight do a project together, the delightful romp becomes a full blown chance for fisticuffs. However, if this sounds like something your relationship can survive, then forms need to be turned in by Valentine's Day. Real talk though, $1,000 is not worth destroying your relationship over (especially when we have Rocky the Rooster throwing out that money as well.) Of course, all this discourse brought forth a great idea. Why not just have someone come out and put the furniture together for you? IKEA already offers that service but we are in the business of undercutting big corporations. Abe wants to do this but he will dispatch people who can do it cheaper. He happens to know "handymen" who can take care of business but Angi would just prefer the IKEA person. Maybe this was all an angling for Abe to get this handy job, seeing as he built a grill by himself and laid on his stomach watching Cathy build his computer desk. Perhaps we should hire Cathy Tropicana to do everything, since she has a tool kit just like Angi does. Now I've got an idea in my head. Angi Taylor and Cathy Tropicana as Two Broke Girls Fixing Broken Things. Anyway, enough of all this nonsense, let's get to the Request Line to answer the meat of the question about what activity would surely cause a fight if done together? Head Roadie Ferrari called in to say driving with his (current) partner, which makes sense as he's an Uber driver who is always hitting on his passengers. Kurt's fights usually occur when his partner has had one too many Steveweisers. Funny enough, that's when Abe finds himself most annoyed with Angi and in turn, Angi is just annoyed with Abe all the time. Alfredo said putting up Christmas lights always leads to a fight. Angi agreed as her mom and stepdad always fought when they put theirs up. Norm has worked as a carpenter for 35 years and while working in the garage and teaching his wife how to use the saw, she was telling him what he was doing was wrong since she saw it on DIY. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our FB group and read up or drop us a comment.

Other Stuff from Today's Show

Contests, contests, contests! Giveaways, Giveaways, Giveaways! Yeah, that's the name of this Friday game as we had not much time for anything else since we were busy dropping tickets upon tickets upon tickets and talking to Rocky the Rooster winners to squeeze in anything else. It's Friday though so let's be real, you stopped listening after getting the Best Bet of the Week anyway.

Don't Kill Angi Weekly Recap:

Mon: Angi wanted to party with a legendary party band to make up for lost time

Stacy had Angi decide to party with Mötley Crüe to make up for lost time. Fresh off the wagon and ready to rock, Angi decided she wanted to go all out and live it up with the Crüe. Angi filled her backpack full of Jack Daniels bottles from DoorDash and headed to see the boys backstage. Before heading into the green room though, Angi decided to build her liquid courage by pounding five fingers. Nice and loose, Angi kicked open the door expecting to be cast in the 2023 version of the "Girls Girls Girls" video. However, when she entered the room, she came upon a shocking discovery. The band was sitting in chairs and on couches drinking cucumber water and Snapple. Nikki turned to an obviously drunk Angi and explained that the band doesn't party anymore and that her drunk ass was compromising their sobriety. They threw her out of the dressing room on her ass and slammed the door in her face. (Alive)

Tue: Angi wanted to impress Nickelback with a Canadian gift

Justin had Angi decide to give Nickelback a big bottle of maple syrup as a gift. Knowing that supplying booze didn't work last time, Angi instead put a massive bottle of maple syrup that she ordered off DoorDash in her purse. Unlike the Crüe show, there was no one attempting to block the VIP access area to Nickelback and so she casually strolled in. Once she finally got to the guys, Angi revealed the bottle of maple syrup and told Chad that she wanted to get sticky. Chad Kroeger loved hearing this because it would give him a chance to relive his rockstar party days. In fact, he wanted Angi to pour the whole bottle into a pool so the pair could wrestle in it. After the other band members made themselves useful and found a kiddie pool, Angi and Chad got into it. He was a bit more agile then he let on and he started to really work Angi over. He gave her a half Nelson, followed by a full one and then he locked in the figure four. With Angi struggling in his arms, Chad got up and proceeded to rock bottomed Angi. Picking her up once again, Chad decided it was time to finish Angi. He passed her off to the other bandmates so he could perform the doomsday device on her. Chad climbed up on a table and came down on the pair hard, which sent Angi to the floor outside the pool and ended up breaking Angi's neck. (Dead)

Wed: Angi wanted to help Chicagoans combat the snow

Rob had Angi decide to go out and salt people's sidewalks. Angi went to Home Depot and bought bags and bags of salt, bringing them home to salt around her neighborhood. Dragging one of the bags behind her, Angi walked down the block throwing salt to the left and right of her. She stopped for a minute outside of a house at the end of the block and lit up a cigarette. After all, she had done so much already that the break was much deserved. Leaning against a fence, Angi jumped when she heard a door open behind her. It was old man Zip and he was furious that Angi was on his property. He yelled at the sky and shook his fist with an unrepentant rage. Irritated to see Angi on his sidewalk, he started to yell at her to get off his property. Angi took the cigarette out of her mouth and went to toss it down to explain what she had been doing. Unfortunately for her, Zip was in no mood for her nonsense and he pulled out a shotgun. He let off a blast and it exploded Angi's head like it was one of Gallagher's watermelons. (Dead)

Thur: Angi wanted to eat something and take a nap

Fernando had Angi decide to eat a full tin of lasagna as a snack. After downing her favorite treat, Angi went over to the couch to pass out. However, as she started dozing while watching The Traitors, it dawned on Angi that she is not supposed to eat before a nap. However, she was too late to stop the sleep from coming and she slipped off into a nightmarish dreamscape. Wandering around a boiler room that was refurbished into a green room, Angi heard a horrifically familiar demonic laughter. Standing at the edge of the green room was Kroeger, Chad Kroeger of Nickelback. He immediately demanded that Angi drop her pants around her feet. Dream Angi happened to have more self control then awake Angi and she said no, which enraged him. Angi begged for Chad not to kill her but he seemed to have a better plan. He wanted her to do a bunch of his Canadian cocaine. The thing was, Angi hadn't done blow since the early 2000's so she was wary. Still, Chad continued to demand it and so Angi gave in. Her body though couldn't handle all the coke and Angi's heart stopped as she hit the floor. As we all know, if you die in your dreams, you die in real life. (Dead)

Fri: Angi wanted to build furniture with Jay the Straight

Louie had Angi decide to have Angi and Jay the Straight put together an IKEA desk. Though unsure of who thought this disaster would be a good idea, Angi and Jay the Straight figured they could win the $1,000 contest and use the money on Jack and weed. After all, Angi did know her way around a toolbox. When confronted with the massive pile of wood boards, Angi was upon them and started hammering away at the nails. Taking a moment to look up and wipe the sweat from her brow, Angi finally noticed that Jay the Straight was not near here. In fact, he had wandered off into the kitchen department where he started to cook up a banana bread. Seeing this triggered Angi worse than normal and sent her over the edge. She pulled her pink handled hammer off of her tool belt and casually walked over to the oven Jay the Straight was at. Before he could ask her "babe, how good does this look?," Angi lifted up the hammer and started smashing in Jay the Straight's skull. By the time she was done, his head looked like hamburger meat at a Gallagher show and she returned to her post to finish putting together the desk. (Alive)

Request Wars 2.0

Champion: Angi (Streak: 1)

Angi's (repping Wally) Song Choice: "Working for the Weekend" by Loverboy

Abe's (repping Valerie) Song Choice: "To Be with You" by Mr. Big

Smack Talk Recap:

Valerie said we don't play enough Mr. Big. There's a reason why we don't play this garbage by the way. Angi immediately dumped on the choice because it sucks. Angi says that anyone who likes Mr. Big is a piece of garbage. Angi suggests if you want to hear that, you should drive off the road. Angi's song makes you think of the weekend. Angi & Abe did their five o' clock whistle radio role calls.

Winner: Angi

10 O'Clock Toast:

Klinger.

Klinger's Karts for Coats, the second annual event to collect coats for those in need is tonight and there's a grand prize for the best racer.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"God, it makes me never wanna go back to Peoria. What do they do in Peoria?" - Abe

"And if you're a betting man, you can bet your bottom dollar Taylor is going to show up uninvited. At least she'll bring her homemade crab dip. The crabs are homemade fresh from her cooter." - Minn Barb

Best Bet of the Week: Take the Chiefs -1 against the Bengals


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