Photo: Flickr RF
This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Point:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
One day away and a long holiday weekend is here which means we are all thrilled, right? Well that much could be said of Abe and myself, Angi is not truly feeling the holiday spirit. Though not depressed or anything, Angi is just feeling a little bit bummed. You see, her house officially goes on the market today and as it is with any move, the feeling is bittersweet. Sure, she loves her house but the reality is, it's too much house (plus it's a swaying, money pit flop shack.) With Angi's daughter off to college and just her, Jay the Straight and Jay the Straight's blond haired, big titted 24 year old girlfriend being there most of the time (plus the two old dogs,) there's no need for three floors anymore. Back to Angi's stress/ire/anxiety, that has to do with the open house coming this Saturday. Angi asked Abe if he would be coming through for a peek around but he said only if there would be food. Angi was confused about why she would need food but he explained that she should have cookies or like some form of open sub spread, etc. In fact, Angi could be a server at the house and offer up champagne, cookies or brisket so she can keep an eye on the house. She's not feeling the idea of having 10 million people wandering around and going through all her stuff. Like, who will be the person keeping an eye on the creeps who will be stealing all her drugs and going through her underwear drawer. I mean, at least the treasure chest of toys has a padlock on it but what if they bring a crowbar for that? There was a security suggestion by Abe in filling the medicine cabinet with ping pong balls so if it was opened, it would be known. She also has cameras in the house that may need to be moved around so she can monitor all the action from her two hour motel rental. Abe, being the good friend he is, finally offered to actually work security for her. Sure, he would charge her $500 dollars for a full walkthrough that would end up with him napping on the couch but can you put a price on feeling safe? At least the nap would be in the bedroom which is what he would spend most of his time guarding. Of course, we dipped into the unrealistic with a further suggestion of having it be like a club where there's a velvet rope at the door and only one pair is allowed in at the time. Hell, she could even have a cover charge and ask for their credit score before being allowed in the door. What it really comes down to though is Angi's neighbors (her ranking order of anxieties was immense) as she just knows they'll be there snooping as well. Abe understands that because there is a condo for sale in his building that is worse than his own but is being sold for much more. He's going to go take a peek and if compelled, he may sell his own if he can make bank. Anyway, if you want to meet Angi this weekend, hit up the dog park or the Sportsman Inn where she will be sitting on the bed with the door open as she eats a two foot quesadilla.
Other Stuff from Today's Show
Now, it's going to sound mean when I say that Angi is a loser but the thing is, I'm not lying. Angi has never truly won anything and I assume that is the trigger that made a Texas high school sophomore the basis for today's Daily Discussion topic. This girl had perfect attendance and for that, she ended up winning a jeep. Angi's desire to win something, anything, especially if it was cool brought for that simple question. Turning to Abe, he once one a tiki boat cruise at a Fit Body Boot Camp. The four hour cruise was a prize for a raffle if you attended 30 days of classes straight. Back to the green eyed monster though, outside of some scratchies and that Clue board game when she was 8, Angi has never won anything. I mean, we could also count the steak knives she won as a vegan during a Christmas Party raffle for a radio station she worked at but since she wasn't eating meat at the time, she calls it a wash. As for perfect attendance, neither of these two was ever going to get that. Hell, back in the day, Abe's brother Sam would miss 30-40 days of school and still ended up on the honor roll. Seeing as imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, Abe ended up just doing the same thing and also made honors. Apparently back in the day, no one cared if you went to school or not so never being there apparently was not an issue. Now that we've covered that Angi is a loser, let's hit the Request Line to talk to some real winners. Roadie Jennifer was getting coffee and scratched off a give away card from the place. She ended up winning and got a hat, sweatshirt, mug and meal. I must add that Jennifer's amazing high energy is what we want from all the callers, a real breath of fresh air. Ronnie was working for a lawn care company when he won a 32 inch Sony TV for being a sales leader. Abe remembers TV giveaways from a radio station he worked at which was touted as a big deal. A "color" TV in the 2000's sounds like a wild prize, right? Head Roadie Troy won an all expense paid trip to Vegas to see The Rolling Stones. Matt won a Google Pixel cell phone. Another Matt was in high school when he won a pair of Doobie Brothers tickets that he ended up trading for a quarter bag of weed. Mary won a ten day trip to Puerto Vallarta once as well as a chainsaw on Chainsaw Friday last week. Caleb also was a station winner, scoring tickets from us during Don't Kill Angi for Lollapalooza this summer. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (The Angi Taylor Show) and read up or drop us a comment.
So, since Angi is going to be hanging around at a cheap motel on Saturday, it seems like a good time to discuss sexy summer weather. I mean, the weather will be nice but not hot enough to consider having sex on the beach but we like to make sure we stay on top of things (hell yeah brother.) Now, sex maniacs like Abe who has "totally" had sex on the beach and in his car might not need these tips. The same can be said for Angi who has had sex in a car, at the park, on a plane, on a train, here, there and everywhere. For you who are new to the outdoor bang though, keep these tips in your back pocket. 1) Don't get caught. Apparently, you can go to jail for things like public indecency. Then again, carjackers aren't being sent to jail so maybe you'll end up getting lucky if you're caught banging. 2) Do it somewhere a bit discreet like the woods, the beach at night, a fenced in backyard, the forest preserve where you back your car into a gangbang or Angi's bathroom shower during her open house this weekend. 3) Make sure you bring a blanket to keep yourself from getting covered in rocks, twigs and sand. Also pack some bug spray because you don't want to end up like the guy who was covered in ticks like the video Abe saw the other day. 4) Get through it quickly, you don't want to toy around and try out aerobic tricks during this session. We ended this sexy mess by revisiting places that Angi banged outside which actually included a car, the park, the beach (she didn't appreciate sand up there,) a hot tub, a softball game and her daughter's soccer game...wait what?
Finally, since we're already all worked up talking about sex, might as well mention a place you can go find "relief." A 22 year old British woman who was in medical school has decided to give up her dreams of being a doctor. Abe assumed her school drop out involved OnlyFans (correct) but it wasn't for her feet or hands as he thought. Instead, she is selling her spit and used shower water. At first, she assumed that it was jokes when people were asking for it but soon the real money started rolling in. Her first vial of spit netted her $372 and the most she's gotten for one was $1,900. Other things she's sold include used toothbrushes and sweaty gym clothes. Angi attempted to figure out what and why people want this nonsense and Abe said that people rub the saliva on themselves and their junk. Angi though is skeptical of this answer and feels like there is more going on since a lot of this involves DNA. All together she is making roughly $6,000 a week but we pondered the most important question. How long could all of this possibly last? She's clearly smart enough to be a doctor but selling to creeps, while profitable, can only go so long. We also gave her a warning because these are the kind of people who feel like they're in an online relationship with this person and would more than likely be the kind of people who would want to kill her eventually.
Request Wars 2.0
Champion: Angi (Streak: 2)
Angi's (repping Evelyn) Song Choice: "Turn Me Loose" by Loverboy
Abe's (repping Big Danny) Song Choice: "Down" by Blink 182
Winner: Angi
10 O' Clock Toast:
Toastee: Tina Turner
RIP to you, you literal icon. We lost a legend yesterday and we celebrate her life, her career and the fact that she escaped a bad situation and remained an incredible superstar.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"Like the type of guy who would murder you would buy saliva." - Abe