One Year Later: Incubus and Grief


The before.

That last day. Things hadn’t been perfect but looking back it was all so much easier. Church with a petting zoo after. Dillon went to his dad’s. Later, I stayed in the car with a sleeping River so Frank could run into Carolina Rebellion and see Greta Van Fleet. I could hear them from the parking lot. And later still, on stage with a station winner to introduce Incubus. Side stage with Frank, watching Brandon Boyd, then out in the crowd. I needed to see. I needed to hear. I needed to experience it. Joe was already gone, but we wouldn’t know until the next morning.

Pardon me while I burst.

I wonder if at some point we no longer remember this last day as “before”.

Before Joe died.

Before the bottom fell out.

Before life got hard and then harder still. And then some.

Life can bring you from the greatest highs to the lowest lows in the blink of an eye. Joe was the beginning of a year that never really eased. Sometimes readjusted, often doubled down. The things just kept coming.

I think about Joe all the time, his kids, the last time we talked. Not even Frank knows this. Sometimes I’ll get a “God shot” from him..something that makes me feel his Spirit. Sometimes it’s a bird. Sometimes I remember his voice out of the blue. Sometimes crazy things happen...like a large branch falling from a tree outside my window on this clear sunny day as I type this.

And that’s when I talk to him.

Hi, Joey.

Your people still love you and miss you.