We all know that there are just some things you don’t tell children. It is not that you want to hide them from the world, but parents do not want to project adult problems onto children, and this is especially true when you are talking about divorce. Divorce is very serious and when there are children involved, you want to make sure that it is handled delicately, as it is common knowledge that children can grow up thinking that it is their fault for the end of their parent’s marriage.
One child had this exact thought, and that may be because his father told him it was his fault. The dad took to Reddit’s “Am I The A—hole?” page to explain how it all happened.He said that he and his wife had been together since high school and while he thought they would be together, it turned out that having a child changed them.
He said that she gave birth to a son 12 years ago and that was when things started to change. He said his son has behavioral problems and it has been very difficult to raise him. He throws tantrums, gets in trouble at school and basically just doesn’t listen. This led to him and his wife having disagreements on how he should be handled. To make the long story short, their marriage could not survive.
When he told their son about the divorce, he was upset. While he said he understood how hard a divorce can be on a child, the “fits” were getting more intense as time went on. Since the couple were separated, the son stayed with his father most of the time, because his wife could not “tolerate” him. The father was quoted as writing, “we agreed that he gets to spend most of the week with me unfortunately, so I see him a lot and have to put up with his yelling far more than she does.”
His son asked him one day if him and his mom had forgiven each other yet. When dad said no and confirmed that the divorce was happening, the boy got upset. The day then said, “buddy, want to know why we are getting divorced? Because of you, we were happy before you were born but you always act bad and get in trouble, so stop arguing with me when you caused it, you have nothing but yourself to blame.”
He said that while his son was upset and devastated,his behavior has actually improved since that conversation. While he said he understands what he said was harsh, its kind of worked. He wanted to know if anyone else felt the same? The answer was a quick no, everyone still thought he was the bad guy and that he should not have said that to his son.
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