This is a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting and funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast version of the show. If you want a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Oh my cod, we finally made it, it's Chainsaw Friday and nothing else matters. Well, unless of course you consider that the snow is finally all melting. I guess you could also include that tomorrow should be the warmest day of the year so far. Probably should factor in that it's the weekend and life is slowly returning. Perhaps I guess I should also consider that being drunk for the next three days is a possibility as well. Whatever, let's rock and roll!
We open today's notes discussing watching habits, starting with Angi discussing the Netflix movieI Care a Lot.This nutso movie (I agree) was something that she absolutely loved. This made her pose a question, does Abe watch something that his girlfriend can't stand? Of course, wrestling obviously and poker, a ton of poker. He loves it and will watch anything involving it, including cutting out time this Sunday for the World Series of Poker. So, what about his girlfriend Cathy, does she watch anything Abe hates?SNL, once a week but religiously and he thinks it's relevant only here and there. Turning the tables, what about Angi, what does she hate that Jay the Straight watches? Wrestling obviously, which makes sense because WWE is so bad as of late. So what about the listeners, what do they watch that their spouse hates or vice versa? Roadie Jake's wife watches90 Day Fiancé all the time and it makes him nuts. Angi was all about this one, as she loves that show and was actually watching a spinoff of it last night. Ironically, Abe tried to hate the show but once he started watching it, he got into it as well.
Thanks to Head Roadie Hamdija, we got ourselves an impromptu Roadie Roundtable today. As I said, Hamdija had a dilemma, his first child is due and he and his wife want to have a baby shower. Obviously, since covid is still ruining everything, he's wondering if they can or should throw a drive through baby shower at the end of April? Does it make him seem thirsty for gifts because it would be a small little visit and then he would send them off. Angi was all for it and said, go for it, it's a good idea. Gathering further information, it was explained that her mother and his sister would have had the shower if we weren't trapped in lockdown hell. The suggestion was to let them deal with it. This came from the voice of dissent here, Mr. Abe Kanan, who hates everything fun. Further in, Angi had to explain to Abe exactly why it is called a shower (showering the to be with gifts.) More so, since it's the first baby, this is kind of important, so it's fine (it would be a different story if it was like a third child.) Abe went on to continue to be The Grinch, saying that people don't want to celebrate you. Angi said that no one should invite Abe to anything because only people with a soul care and ergo, soulless Abe. As for the actual roadie thoughts, Head Roadie Ferrari said to go for it, as it is the first child. Head Roadie Glenn said that they should go all out, since it is their first child. Justin has a baby due on Tues (grats btw) and said he had a drive by shower in January and it was great. Abe's interpretation of a drive by shower btw is assuming people drive by and throw gifts at them. Yeah, that's the perfect way to end this one.
Finally, is there a band that you've seen live that nobody else can see now. This could be for any reason, a band break up, a dead member or anything else that would fit the idea of not seeing them as they were known. For example, Angi saw Prince a ton of times, including at Paisley Park, which is amazing. Abe, bringer of death and destruction over here, has seen Prince, Stone Temple Pilots, Pantera, Soundgarden, Velvet Revolver, Van Halen and Tom Petty. His Tom Petty was memorable as it was his final concert, a show that he took his brother Sam along with to make up for a childhood screw up that kept him from going to the Wildflowers tour. Also, Abe has seen Danzig 30 times (no reason to point that out other than he loves Danzig.) Turning to the roadies, Laura saw Stevie Ray Vaughn's literal last show as his plane crashed after it. Head Roadie Jim saw Pantera. Larry saw George Harrison in the 70's. Head Roadie Kevin saw Stone Temple Pilots, David Bowie (jealous,) Black Sabbath and Gregg Allman. Tim saw Velvet Revolver. Jimmy saw Tom Petty, Stone Temple Pilots and Soundgarden. Mark saw AC/DC with Bon Scott at the Scaragon Brawlroom. Mark saw Dio, Motörhead and Metallica w/ Cliff Burton. Josh saw Pantera. Robert saw Motörhead, Pantera, Dio and Van Halen. As for me, I've seen R.E.M. (which Angi didn't know broke up 10 years ago) and Hole.
Current Champion: Frankie
Challenger Song Choice: "For Whom the Bell Tolls"
Champion Song Choice: "Closer"
Observation: Good smack talk, references, actually good songs. What planet is this? Great day!
In the morning wars, Abe got his video based revenge on Angi after she publicly shamed and ruined his going to Potbelly the other day. As a response to the ridiculous slander and destruction of a food source, Abe went to Angi's favorite bodega to reveal what she does there. Daily visits where she buys $10 or $20 scratchies were revealed to the audience in a shocking expose. So now for her, she can't do daily bodega runs to buy those lottery tickets, no more condoms (yeah right,) no more anything. Both videos are posted on all of the show based social media. So head over to Twitter, Instagram or our Facebook Group to see these videos and more (as content is posted there regularly.)
In another of those small segments where we feel like we're in some delusional acid trip fever dream, Abe had a complaint. Whenever he goes some place, people are always trying to guess what he is. He's gotten everything from black to some form of indian. For anyone curious about his actual combination, he's got a super exotic white mom (not my words) and a Palestinine dad. His other complaint, which I've heard him go on about for years, no one can get his name right. They give him Ahbie, Ahbay, etc. For this reason, Abe thinks that everyone is racist. If he looked like Tom Hanks, no one would be confused and get his name right every time. He's truly mad as hell that they can pronounce Abraham right but when shortened to Abe, it goes right out the window. Angi was reveling in all this mess and she said that she's going to straight up change Abe's name. I personally think she is smart and brilliant and should definitely follow through on this.
Lastly, Head Roadie Trashman Tim called in to cover several different points. He congratulated Abe on his new condo while also offering Angi condolences on her falling apart house that is bound to actually fall on her, Wicked Witch of the East style. He was mainly calling, I think, to discuss that he's going to be going to the White Sox Spring training during St. Patrick's Day week. He should possibly be close enough to bottle Moncada's ass sweat and keep it on the mantle (gay! drink!) Angi had heard enough and went off, saying that she threw the first pitch at a White Sox game. Also, she could get her hands on Moncada if she really wanted to so piss off Tim! When Trashman suggested renting an AirBNB, Abe and Angi both shot it down. Abe is afraid of secret hidden cameras and Angi is a high class luxury hotel girl. Finally Trashman Tim wanted to put in a song request, which made Angi even more mad. You know what she wants, Moncada in the studio, not some stupid Alice in Chains song.
10 o' Clock Toast:
Russell Wilson and Ciara. They might be coming to Chicago and we need to slut it up and seal the deal.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
Quote: "When I walk in somewhere, I look exotic, I have that exotic look." - Abe
Quote: "How does it work, do people drive by and throw gifts at them?" - Abe
Quote: "See, this is what I'm talking about, your (Abe) stories. Can I get a Hooked on Phonics version!?" - Angi
Quote: "You're (Abe) the Mapquest of a story" - Angi
Quote: "I like box.....ers" - Angi
Quote: "If I get pregnant, just throw me down the stairs." - Angi
New Head Roadie Alert! Congrats Marty the Mailman - Head Roadie of all Mailmen