This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.
Call in Points:
(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed.)
Time wasting, the glorious clock countdown each of us is guilty of and yet somehow can't seem to get enough of. We all do it as well (unlike day drinking or contemplating how many hours are left until the weekend is here once more and you don't have to work,) there's usually somewhat relevant things that push that status. In fact, most of us waste at least two hours a day doing absolute mundane things. This means things like sitting in traffic (which most of you are probably doing listening to the show,) flipping the channels or if you're like Abe or Jay the Straight (sitting on the toilet until your legs fall asleep.) All and all, we as a collective person spend 26 days a year wasting time in some way, shape or form. Hell, reading these notes is a colossal waste of your time but you are getting information from them at least (and I for one thank you for taking the time out to read them.) So, Angi wanted to figure out the vices that grip us and squeeze the minutes out of the clock relentlessly and there are some obvious culprits including the aforementioned traffic, plus watching sports and playing games. Funny enough, my and Angi's waste line up perfectly and it is Abe who plays odd man out though I'd assume his is also up pretty high on the time pole. Abe is what one would call a "Youtube Vortexer." He will start by watching a 25 minute video on poker, followed by another 25 minute video on poker. His wandering eyes will find their way toward a Nickelback video in the suggested section (King Mario would be pleased) and suddenly he's watched 8 of them. Then that leads into ZZ Top and somehow he ends the six hour navigation watching Avril Lavigne videos shirtless and eating subs (I'm assuming, the Avril stuff definitely happened though.) Angi does the same thing but she's more easily distracted by the cat toy that is streaming that dangles in front of her face daily. Her main way of wasting time (aside from being drunk on the couch) is to play blackjack on her iPhone and iPad (emphasis on the "i" part because I get it daily for having a Samsung phone.) For her this is stress relief but ironically, being home is a place she's not thinking about work. Life drama, on the other hand, exists there so like she personally can't wait to go back to work. Like, between Jay the Straight blowing her life savings and the dogs staring at her, she's been hitting her breaking point at home. On the phones, we started with Dana who can't get enough of Instagram Reels. She just lets them run and run forever (and guess what, Angi does the same thing.) Travis has found himself buried in everyone else's favorite new obsession, Wordle. Abe has been eyeing it and considered downloading it as is and Angi feels the same but she knows if she does, it's going to be over for her. The thing is, he plays chess all day as is and this is just the next up way to go. Abe went forward to offer to teach her how to play because let's face it, she's the boss and everyone should be jobbing to her. Poor Mark has a traffic time sink. On a good day, his commute to work is an hour and fifteen minutes. Going home it's about an hour and a half. The worst part about all this is what causes the traffic itself. When there's a water bottle and an umbrella sitting on the road and you don't move for an hour, it's rage inducing. However, it works good for us here at 95.5 because we end up with a captive audience!
Well, it finally happened and I'm absolutely floored. After knowing Abe for like 14 years, I've never really truly been able to get to the bottom of him as a person. Leave it to Angi to figure it out after just a year and a half or so. It all began when Abe texted Angi and I a picture of his copy ofMen's Healththat he "threw in the trash after he got it." Inside it though there was an article and it turns out that his tossing it might have had to do with the truth contained within. There was an article in there about an emerging trend in the dating spectrum that sums up Abe in a nutshell. Solo Polyamourous aka Solo Poly which is basically someone who has no desire to get married, have kids, live with their partner, form relationships, share finances, etc. You are the center of your own life and you have no intention of making a relationship central. So basically it could just have said Solo Poly: see Abe Kanan. Now, as you would know if you're a long term listener, Abe has been in a relationship for 6 and a half years with his girlfriend Cathy Tropicana. Even though he loves her or something, after learning of the term he said that everyone should be living a solo poly life. For example, he said that he felt bad for his mom who had to give up having a "life" to do and give things to her kid. All of this basically caused Angi to deem Abe as nuts, which in a way he kind of is. As we had seen a few weeks ago when his biggest dilemma was figuring if he was going to go to Hoots or Hooters. Funny enough, today's issue was if he wanted to go to Popeyes, KFC or Fry the Coop for a kitchen sandwich. Meanwhile, Angi is trying to see if she can get her husband on her health insurance (the contrast folks.) Abe reveled in the fact that his health insurance is cheaper than hers (monster.) A guy named Colin in the article stated that his relationship is first with himself. He's not selfish but he doesn't want to merge with his partner and he can be with them when he's with them. Abe absolutely loves this concept overall and feels he should be the poster boy. His first duty as poster boy for self love above all was to convince Angi that she too should get into it. First things first, Jay the Straight and Angi should probably live apart. Like go out today and start searching for seperate apartments. It would be just likeSex in the City, only Angi wouldn't be an old haggard horse faced woman who cycles through guys like Abe does sub resturants. Angi did recall a time when her husband was out on the road all the time for work but then covid hit. Now he's there all the time and let's be realistic, we've seen her start to crack under the pressure of him being around all the time. When he was gone though, she tended to miss him on occasion. Now though, as I said, she wants him to get a bed in the office and go there for at least four hours a day. Angi tried to sell Abe on the idea of intimacy but he countered with divorce. Angi explained that if you get divorced it means that you married the wrong person but the poster boy said that they just want to be solo poly. In the end, two things came from this. Angi has finally decided to stop fighting Abe on relationships because she's now in the firm understanding of his solo polyness. The second is a firm plan for the future and their relationship. If Jay the Straight ever or has finally ever had enough of Angi's nonsense, Abe will be there for her. They will be together completely solo poly. In their 60's, they will be each other's companions. They will not have sex but they will go to Jersey Mike's together, hit up the casino to waste their savings and of course, watchSex in the City. This clearly sounds like a dream but what does that mean for their child Jay the Gay. I guess that means that I'm just straight up....
Other Stuff from Today's Show:
Ah growing up, which is funny that the topic just above this involves adult Abe Kanan who refuses to grow up basically. Maybe this has to do with the fact that no one person is truly ever prepared to actually be a grown up. So, with this in mind, another call in topic involved the adult problems that no one ever truly prepared you for. Now, this seems to be one of those things where we drop actual things that are worrisome or upsetting (trust me, the example I sent to our group chat was.) For Angi, her issue tends to be having to think about what it is that she'll be having for either breakfast, lunch or dinner. There's also the lack of free time to be by yourself, be it because you have a spouse or a kid who hates you because she's becoming a woman and women hate other women. This was where Abe stepped up again to be the hero and mention how if you lived a solo poly lifestyle and you wouldn't have to deal with something like this. Like someone forgot to mention to her that there will be absolutely no time for you (and if they did, she probably would have jumped out the window much sooner.) As for Abe, his big deal was not knowing that when you're older, no one is going to clean your house. Well, I mean this doesn't apply to Angi because the maid is there cleaning up liquor bottles off the living room floor at least three days a week. When he was a kid, his mother (Saint Mama Kanan Nadine) and his grandmother used to clean up after him. Nowadays, Abe has to clean his own bathroom and let's face it, I can imagine it must be a literal nightmare as that is the room he spends the second most amount of time in. Other things worth making a note of is an overall lack of purpose. As a kid you have school and other milestones to reach and surmount. Once you become an adult, none of that is there and on top of that, nothing really matters anyway. Birthdays are another thing that fit the point. As a kid, birthdays are the most incredible time of the year but as an adult, you simply just don't even care. Worst off, handling the decline and the death of your parents, which honestly even if you were told, you wouldn't be prepared for anyway. To add to this point with my own, the death of your closest friend suddenly, which alters the course of who you are when you lose someone so important. Right, enough of our depressing stuff, lets go to others on the phones. Tonya had the proper idea in bills. Like you pay one and here's another and soon it turns into all your money just evaporating. Stacy called to discuss the drooping once gravity finally gets a chance to take over. Enjoy it while you can because it's all going to fall down. This was something that mind really wanted to prepare you for but guess what, you were too busy not thinking beyond next week. That's right guys, we're all slowly dying. Lastly, there was Melissa, who has to redate her husband now that the kids are gone. Imagine that whole mess and then factor in drooping, pure horror.
Finally, we're back to work after a nice three day weekend and we're already discussing quitting. Well, not Angi and Abe but others in general who have dropped a list of the top 10 reasons why they quit (that isn't covid related.)
10. Been there too long. Sure, it's boring but the pandemic has made people not care anymore and even if they have nothing in the bank, they will quit. This is totally an Angi thing to do as she is always looking for the next thing.
9. Not the career they wanted.
8. Boredom.
7. No way to climb the corporate ladder. This is the worst because you want to progress and not just stay stationary. Again, another Angi belief.
6. The boss is rude. We work for Todd the Taint, we get it.
5. The pay sucks. I get paid in meatballs and alcohol so I can't complain. As for Angi and Abe, they had nothing to say ... cough.
4. Didn't like the atmosphere. Angi gets it and being around toxic people who are negative is a perfect reason to leave.
3. Management doesn't care about you. Abe jumped in here and said not to give your employees Giordano's gift cards but give them better pay and the money they deserve.
2. Overworked. Honey, we're all overworked.
1. No motivation. In some jobs, every day is Groundhog's Day and you're doing the same mundane stuff daily.
Request Wars 2.0:
Champion: Angi (Streak: 3)
Angi's (repping Ron) Song Choice: "Freak on a Leash"
Abe's (repping Paula) Song Choice: "She Sells Sanctuary"
Observation:
Though we could discuss how Abe assumes that the band The Cult are actual cultists or how it's Jonathan Davis' birthday so he deserves a win, we should address something more important. If you've never played Request Wars before, we are looking for someone who has never played and we really want you to get in on this.
Winner: Angi
10 O'ClockToast:
Jerry Seinfeld. Speaking of wasting 2 hours today, he just dropped a two hour blooper reel that you can find on the Rock 95.5 website. Also, he used to get paid $30,000 for every line. We hear at Rock 95.5 get paid 2 cents per word, if they're feeling generous.
Show Quotes and Tidbits:
"No one who gives out free picks has ever had this record!" - Abe
"If someone has great picks, I don't care if they're Harvey Weinstein or Bill Cosby, I would call them for their picks." - Abe
PSAbe: That record is unbelievable, thank you.
Best Bet of the Week (Week 16 Results): Abe Wins!