Carjacker Throws Snake Inside Vehicle

You know I hate snakes so Wilcox was giddy to bring me this headline. Here's the gist as unreal as it sounds: a woman threw a black snake (non venomous but who is pausing to check?) into the vehicle of another woman and then stole the vehicle. It gets better. Somehow, said female carjacker then drove into a pole vaulting exhibition. I have so many questions but I am clear on one thing. If you ever throw a snake at me for any reason, one of us isn't going to make it. Take notes now: I will lose my mind. Memes will be made about me. I'll probably be incarcerated but hey, when you're in jail, no one is throwing snakes at you while you're just trying to damn drive.