In today's edition of 'Our Whole Life Is A Lie,' we learn that we've been using a can opener the wrong way
This reminds me of the time we all learned that those little paper ketchup cups they have at our favorite burger spot are actually meant to unfold into a small condiment plate.
Long story short, the can opener is supposed to lay flat on the can. This lessens the razor sharp edge.
In the words of my friend, Ed: How old were you when you learned how to use a can opener the right way? I was today years old. Mind blown.